Really though…we were talking about how awful it is to lose a child. We talked about how strange the process and emotions of grief are, how the pain can literally take your breath away, and how we wouldn't wish it upon our worst enemy. Then we started talking about these questions, "Where is God in this? How does He feel about it?"
Which was when we had the obvious, bright lightbulb-over-our-heads moment of, "He understands."
He really does!
He had to watch His only Son die.
He lost His Son for a time, too.
We both sat quietly, feeling kind of like, "Duh. Should have thought about that," and also feeling very comforted in that knowledge; knowing that God feels our pain. He cries with us, because as a father, he's been there. I totally believe that God is an emotional God - He cries when we cry, and laughs when we laugh. He's not some bland, emotionless god who sits in Heaven like, "Whatever happens, happens." He truly cares.
The ultimate hope that Ryan and I have through all of this is that we will see our son again one day. Since he is outside of time, when we see him, he will feel as if only a moment as passed, even though we've lived through our entire lives. We will still be his parents, and the only parents he'll ever know as Mama and Daddy. Isn't that awesome!?
God's ultimate hope when Jesus died on the cross was that He would come back to Him. When Jesus died, I believe it grieved the Father for Him to see His only Son go through that. After Jesus died, the Father's great hope was that He knew He would return to Him.
…
Today is Good Friday; today marks the day that Jesus was crucified. Today marks the day that I think the Father experienced how February 24th was for Ryan and I. On this day, all those years ago, the Father experienced losing His Son. For those who follow Jesus, today is a somber day of remembering what Jesus did for us, that He died, conquered death, Hell and the grave…but we rest easy in the hope and promise of the remembrance of Jesus' resurrection! It's the same hope that the Father had all those years ago.
My hope isn't in something that's (realistically) going to happen in three days, three months, or even three years. My son isn't rising from the dead, but we are going to see him again; we will go to him.
God understands our present pain and grief, He does not deny or downplay those emotions.
He understands our hope; He shares in our joy.
…
55"O death, where is your victory?
O death, where is your sting?"
57Thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord, Jesus Christ. 1 Corinthians 15:55, 57
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