A Dream That You Wish Will Come True

Hi everyone, I'm Sara's husband, Ryan.  I'm taking over the blog for a moment, and you will see me pop in with posts every now and again to add a man's and father's perspective of going through the trying times of losing his child.  As men, I know we are great at building up walls and hiding our emotions, which leads me to believe that this perspective is often overlooked.  When a father loses his child, he too loses a piece of his heart and is not only needed more than ever to be there for the rest of his family, but also needs the support and love of his family (regardless of how tough he may be or seem).  I thought I could start off sharing this perspective on a (slightly) more lighthearted note.

Back in April, I wrote a journal entry a couple weeks before we went to Disney World.  Now that Sara and I have found out our rainbow baby is a girl, I felt it appropriate to share.


...


"A Dream That You Wish Will Come True - 4/9/2015

Have faith in your dreams and someday
Your rainbow will come smiling through
No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
A dream that you wish will come true

Lately, Sara and I have been watching a lot of Disney movies and have been pondering all things Disney since we're going to Disney World in less than a month.  Even though being happy and having fun is more of a task that truly takes effort these days, I definitely think we deserve a vacation.

Since the passing of little Emmett, we knew we would want to try having another baby soon.  Trust me.  There is no possible way we could ever replace our precious little son, and we will be thinking of and grieving him everyday for the rest of our lives.  When Emmett passed away, he literally took a piece of our hearts with him.  With all of that, I think, (even though it will never be "easy"), having another baby will help us to move on in life.

A Dream That You Wish Will Come True is one of the most iconic Disney songs ever written and has become a part of American culture.  It's a song that has been ringing in my head lately.  It could be due to the fact that I have Orlando, Florida on my mind, that I've watched Cinderella multiple times within the last few weeks (both the classic and new versions), or the simple fact that Sara and I loved the music from the new movie so much, we had to buy the soundtrack.  Regardless of reason, it's there; loud and clear.

Some would find this annoying, but I have found peace and encouragement through it.  How could a cute little song from a Disney movie bring me peace and encouragement? The answer is quite simple, really.  My heart is grieving due to the loss of my son, and the dream I am wishing to come true is to have another child (not to mention, it's just a catchy tune).

It's been nice to think about and sing along with, and quite frankly, it's been nice watching good, wholesome, family-friendly movies.  Within the last couple days, I learned a new phrase; Rainbow Baby.  It's the term people use for a baby born following the parents going through a loss with the previous baby.  So our next baby is going to be our rainbow baby,  That's nice, isn't it?

Really though.  I hadn't really thought about it until after I learned the term "rainbow baby", but I've been noticing a lot of rainbows lately.  In the sky, in pictures, and even in random drawings in an old family photo album my mom showed me a few days ago.  What's more is the song mentioned above has the line:

Have faith in your dreams and someday
Your rainbow wil come smiling through

I can feel God's encouragement through this silly little song written for a cartoon movie and believe that our next, precious, little baby is coming soon.

If it's a girl, I might have to name her Cinderella."

Ella Grace Langford: Coming January, 2016