A look in the mirror.

Today when I was getting ready to shower, I found myself starting to (once again) go through my list of things I really don't like about myself. My eyes roamed over my body, and I did what I do several times each day - I picked myself apart, and thought over and over about how much I don't like this or that. I began to (once again) beat myself up mentally for not making enough physical progress. As I went through this mental process, something suddenly hit me.

I was staring in the mirror at my saggy stomach, riddled with stretch marks, when my eyes went to the first one I got when I was pregnant with Emmett. Immediately, I heard a new voice in my head. I found myself smiling and struggling to see my reflection through tear-filled eyes.

I stared at that first stretch mark and placed my hand over it. It was one of the first noticeable, physical signs of my precious son. My stretch marks are a gift.

I then looked at my stomach, which now sags in a very weird way, but who cares? That stomach carried TWO beautiful babies - providing a space for them to grow and be protected. I basically spent two years straight being pregnant. Of course I'm going to sag a little...but what a gift. What a privilege.

The legs that I berate because they have some cellulite and aren't even remotely close to as toned as I'd like them to be - they've carried me forward over the last couple of years. They've helped me navigate some of the most physically challenging steps of my life.

My arms which are not even a little bit muscular, and forever bother me in photos - these arms get to hang onto the sweetest husband in the world, and have held my most precious gifts, my children.

Sharing this is a bit terrifying for me. I feel vulnerable and raw and real - and you know what? As scary as it is, it feels kind of great. I feel liberated; I feel free. Isn't that how we should be living? Yes, I have fitness goals, and yes, I'm slowly working on them. I get a little stronger every week, and I LOVE it...but there's always that nasty little voice that tries to creep back in my mind, and I know I'm not the only one who struggles with this.

7 months postpartum & not feeling even a little bit ashamed.

So, this one is for my mama friends who are struggling with their body, wondering if they're going to sag forever. (Without resorting to plastic surgery, we just might. It's okay.)

This one is also for my friends who look in the mirror and see flaws. I promise you - you are beautiful. I know, it's so cheesy, but it's true. DON'T be like me and let self-hatred and doubt cloud your mind.


Take a moment and breathe. Calm your mind, and focus on the good. Remind yourself - you are alive.

It's a lesson I'm still learning.

. . .

Breathe.
Be present.
Love yourself.