Since I was last here, so. much. has. happened. And now, we're in the middle of this crazy social distancing/stay at home order, (seriously - STAY. AT. HOME.), and people all around the world are getting sick and dying from COVID-19, and HONESTLY, sometimes I cannot believe life.It's crazy. Am I right or am I right?!
On a more personal level, the last year has been the wildest roller coaster. We bought what I could easily say is a dream house for us, I've been reading allll the books, and now I'm in the middle of planning my first garden (eek!). Ella is FOUR, which is just insane to me. We celebrated Emmett's fifth birthday in February, which is also insane. Sometimes I think back to five years ago, when I was pregnant with him, when I lost him, and I just cannot believe this. is. my. life.
(That's just like LIFE though, isn't it? It n e v e r goes the way we think it will.)
I wish you could see the pile of drafts for this blog. The list is long (actually written posts, approximately 100, topic ideas, I have no clue. A. Lot.), and my thoughts are all over the map. And yet, I haven't found it within myself to fully shut the blog down. A few months ago, I felt (wonderfully) challenged by a friend - I was sharing how I felt so, "meh" about this space, and maybe I should let it go, etc etc etc (I know you've read it all before). She encouraged and challenged me in such a beautiful way!! "Maybe you should stop listening to the lies in your head." And a bunch of other deeply profound (for me) things that I'm not going to list here.
I've felt shame for sharing so much in this space, and shame for not sharing enough. I've also felt and received so much love and kindness for sharing here, so...the blog lives. For now. (Insert nervous smile here.)
My life at the moment (like much of the world) is weird. It's also beautiful. Someone used the term, "involuntary sabbath", and that's exactly what this season feels like. I just want anyone who reads this to know - you are not alone. You might be feeling the lonely feels, (I know I have in recent months), but you're not alone.
Talk to me, friends. Tell me about your life! Leave a comment or find me on Instagram. We can have a zoom coffee/tea date. :)
And for some more randomness, because really, isn't that what this post really is? (In case you're wondering, I write as it is in my head. So, welcome to the chaos that is my ever-sprinting mind.) Here are some verses that have been carrying me lately...
28 If God can clothe the fields and meadows with grass and flowers, can’t he clothe you as well, O struggling one with so many doubts? 29 I repeat it: Don’t let worry enter your life. Live above the anxious cares about your personal needs. 30 People everywhere seem to worry about making a living, but your heavenly Father knows your every need and will take care of you. 31 Each and every day he will supply your needs as you seek his kingdom passionately, above all else. 32 So don’t ever be afraid, dearest friends! Your loving Father joyously gives you his kingdom realm with all its promises!
Luke 12:28-32
I love this.
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