On learning to love.

I keep thinking about everyone who has died this year.  My son, my uncle, and my grandmother.  I reminisce about their lives, and feel grateful that I was able to know each of them in the way that I did.  Mostly, I think about Emmett.

I have days where I mourn his life, and what might have been, but then I also have days where I feel grateful to have had him in my life, even if it was only for that short time.  I think about how amazing it is that I was able to hold him for his entire life.  I do think about the separation though.  I miss him in the most terrible way.  This is a burden of mothering a child in Heaven.  You never stop loving them, you never stop missing them, you never stop feeling the need to take care of them, but you have to wait.  You remember that they are no longer here, even though you feel their spirit around you.

I think a lot about Heaven; my thoughts are totally consumed with it.  I wonder what it's really like, I think about the reunions that happen there.  I think about who is holding Emmett for me, who is taking care of him for the moment we are separated.

Throughout my life, I've had people challenge my faith and beliefs, and at the end of our debates and discussions, it has always come down to this - what is the alternative of what I believe?  The alternative is this: there isn't a God, Heaven can't be real, and Jesus was just a good man, maybe somewhat of a rebel for his time.

If I'm wrong, what have I lost?  To truly be a Christian is to learn to love everyone around me to the best of my human ability.  I don't always succeed, but I try.  When you look at the core of Christianity, this is what it's supposed to be:

God came as a man, from Heaven. ("...earth is His footstool." Isaiah 66:1)  He came as a baby, grew up among us, and taught those around Him how to love everyone.  He then called His disciples (that includes those of us today), to go out to the corners of the world and become fishers of men.

Love everyone, because I love you.
Love everyone, just as I loved you first.
   When you were at your ugliest, when you were angry, when you hated me - I loved you.

He tells us to do that for the world!

So if I'm wrong, what have I lost?  I have learned to love those around me, regardless of what they believe or what they look like.  I have learned to humble myself and serve them.  I have learned to wash their feet.

Because He came, and displayed the ultimate love, by giving His life.  The creator of the universe came, as a man, walked among us, and taught us to give love freely.


This is why I haven't lost anything, even if I am wrong, because I have learned to love.