Sitting outside of Starbucks, I shared with her my simple desire to impact people. To not only talk about the reality of grief, or of a Great and Terrible Loss, but to show the world that life can go on. Not in a way that means you try to forget or leave parts of yourself behind, but in a way that says, "Healing is possible. A new kind of wholeness is out there."
I told her about how I want to write about grief, but I also want to share fun things. I told her I want to write about re-exploring my hometown, but I also want to continue to share what life really looks like when you're weathering a storm. I shared my desire to showcase fun recipes (including total flops), or even what motherhood looks like for me. I expressed my frustration with following bloggers whose lives seem so perfectly edited, while the rest of us are bumping along, just trying to make it through the day. (Seriously, me today!) I listed off a bunch of ideas, and then I shared the pathetic part of it all - my fear of what others would think.
I never want to seem fake, or portray life as picture-perfect, because it's really not. I also fear becoming yet another blogger that does the same old thing. And in that moment, when I laid it out on the table for her to hear, she completely quelled my fears by encouraging me to just go for it.
Isn't that awesome? I hope I can be that person for someone. I really think that's how we should treat everyone; with kindness and gentleness.
Anyway....so, here I am. Just diving in, and seeing where these next steps take me. Cozied up in the corner of the sofa, at 10:48 pm on a Saturday night, feeling very tired and subsequently, very brave. I have too many posts waiting to be shared and (out of fear) I've hesitated to share them.
Yes, I talk about grief. Yes, I write about life and how messy it is, but that isn't everything. There's still so much more, and so much good.
So, let's dive in. Let's pursue the good together.
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